March 12, 2015

I have just experienced another AHA moment! A breakthrough! After many years of soul searching, reading, observing, learning, living, going-with-the-flow, crying about ‘what is’ and ‘what is not’, I’ve found another piece of the puzzle. (Yes, it is a puzzle and no-one knows what the picture is or how many pieces there are!) This piece is the fact that life purpose isn’t something out there, something to search for. And it isn’t just one thing. It isn’t a big thing that will come tapping you on the shoulder and say: “Here I am”. It is not a big Hollywood moment with all the drum rolls, witty dialogue, beautiful actors and a buildup of suspension, where, at the perfect moment, the main character experiences this BIG AHA moment where she realizes exactly what her life purpose is. I knew all of this but somehow very deep inside I was still hoping that this is what would happen, and then I would get very upset if it didn’t. Some times things cross our paths and we think this is it, but then, if it wasn’t followed by a ‘sign’ from the universe or someone else, we discard it as rubbish, daydreaming or wishful thinking. Other things we reject because it is too hard, too difficult, too much work. We try something new and after the ‘newness’ wore out and the hard work should start, we just give up because it didn’t come easy, we weren’t a natural so surely it isn’t something we are supposed to do.

And now my big realization: life purpose is a lot of small things. It is all the little things we do each day that makes us feel good, that nurtures us, that makes us feel alive. It is like the three meals we have each day. We have no problem accepting that we have to eat regular small meals to sustain us, so why would we expect life itself to be anything else? Yes, we have very big and very special meals every now and then, with birthdays, Christmas and other celebrations and we thoroughly enjoy them. However, when it comes to a fulfilling life, we expect each day to be like a birthday, filled with presents, special attention and a lovely three-course meal with all the trimmings. And then we get very disappointed and disheartened if our life turns out to be anything less. Movies and celebrities excepted, the rest of us 7 billion have to make peace with the fact that life is all about the little things. This is both good and bad news.

The bad news: it is the little things, not the big things we hoped for. The good news: it is the little things, the things you have control over, the little things you already do. The things you can do where you are with what you have. It is also beginning with the end in mind. Decide what you want people to say at your funeral, what you want to be remembered for. These things all fall in the category called values. Values like: honesty, integrity, kindness, helpful, courageous, etc. We go through a process to decide what our values are. In just the same way, you can decide what your life purpose is. It is not some elusive thing you have to do that is different from what you are already doing. You can decide what your life purpose is and any decision you make will be right. Any decision you make will ask you to stand up, own it and work hard for it. There may be days where you will think, maybe this wasn’t it, it should’ve been easier, I should be a natural at this if it was my life purpose, other people would’ve acknowledged and respected me for this if it was the right thing. And there you go, finding more reasons why it is not the right thing, rather than deciding that it is the right thing and just keep focusing on what you want and how you’re going to get there.

Life purpose isn’t just a castle in the sky, it is something you dream up and then do. Without doing there is no castle, no way for your dreams to materialize. On this planet with our physical reality, we still have to do the hard work, things don’t just manifest out of thin air. Accept this and start doing. Do the little things that don’t scare you too much and then move on to the bigger things that both scare and excite you. This is where the magic happens, doing the things that you fear, doing the things that you think are too big for you.

Do you want people to say at your funeral that you were a big dreamer but that you never acted on your beautiful dreams, or would you like them to say that you followed your dreams, no matter what?