September 5, 2018

In my previous blog, I used the jukebox as metaphor and sticking with the old-fashioned theme, today I want to use the piggy bank to explain how we can work with our energy.  A piggy bank is a container that we use(d) to store our money in and once we saved up enough, we can take the money out to buy what we want.  But if we’ve spent all our money, we have to wait and save some more before we can go shopping again.  In today’s metaphor, we are going to talk about energy, not money.  Every day each of us has the same amount of time and depending on our health, we have a certain amount of energy.  Some of us have more energy than others, but each of us must learn to work with the amount of energy we have available.

This is where self-knowledge and mindfulness become really important.  You have to know what thoughts, feelings, activities, people, situations and memories are the ones that give you energy, and which are the ones that drain your energy.  By not knowing, you might end up doing, thinking and believing things that steal your energy.  Our bodies are very resilient and will tolerate a lot of ‘over-borrowing’, but there comes a day when all your energy reserves are depleted and you end up sick or depressed.

The only way to win this game is to be very aware of what is going on in your mind, your body, your environment and your relationships.  You have to be able to pinpoint and consciously use the ones that fill up your energy account.  For some people, a relationship with a partner can be a source of energy, for others a drain.  The same with children, relatives, work, the weather and just about everything else in our universe.

Another trick is to know that some of these things can’t be changed, you just have to learn to live with them.  Here you must know how to choose a neutral response so that you don’t lose any energy.  Let’s use a neutral example:  the weather in Melbourne.  If you hate hot summer days and choose to be very upset when it is too hot to your liking, you will lose energy.  If you hate rainy, wet, dark weather, you will lose energy in winter.  The trick is to know that you don’t like this kind of weather and to make a conscious decision to not allow it to steal your energy.  So, on a very hot day, you say to yourself, “I don’t like this kind of weather, but there is nothing I can do about it, so let’s just move on.”  If you then continue with your day as you normally would, you are responding in a neutral way and not losing any energy.  But if you get all upset, and complain so much that you don’t get anything done, you are losing energy.  You must learn how to close the piggy bank when you are doing the things that you don’t like.  Another example is traffic, you can choose to spend all your precious energy on the incompetent drivers around you, or you can choose to remain calm and save your energy for doing something meaningful for yourself.

Now how do we know which are the things that give us energy or drain our energy?  There is both good and bad news.  The good news is that we all already have this magic tool; the bad news is that it might be covered under years and years of dust and neglect.  This magic tool is called your body wisdom or gut instinct.

Think back to a time when you were happy or try focusing on a happy thought.  How does your body react?  Can you feel the energy rising?  Does your body also feel expanded, light and ready to take action?

Now think of a challenging situation or sad memory.  Can you feel the difference?  How your body contracts, your shoulders sag, your head hangs low, and you feel as if you’ve got no energy, no motivation to get up and do stuff.

This is a bit of an exaggerated interpretation but it might be where we need to start to relearn how to listen to our bodies.  Most of the time the clues our bodies send us will be much more subtle, and it will take a bit of fine tuning learning how to interpret them.

Our parents, school and society never taught us this valuable skill and as adults, we now have to put in the time and effort to rebuild this connection.  Over time your relationship with your body and your gut instinct will improve and you will be able to use it continuously, in everyday situations and without effort.  So, when you take a moment to be mindful, also check in with your body and ask it what it would like to say about what is going on.  Tune in and sense if your body is expanding or contracting, does your gut say ‘yes’, or ‘no’?

On a practical level, this information can help you to find the right job, or to make changes to your current job so that you do more of the things that give you energy and less of that which drain your energy.  It helps you to find exercise that is right for you.  Some people enjoy jogging and it actually gives them energy, while others hate it and feel much more fulfilled doing yoga.  It can also give you important information on relationships, does your interactions with your partner inspire or drain you?  Do you need to stop investing energy in a relationship that is going nowhere and find another where your contribution will be valued?

Once you’ve learnt to listen to your body, you can consciously plan your life by choosing to think, feel and do the things that give you energy.  When your energy is low, you will know what to do to build it up.  And with all the things you don’t like, you can close the hole in the piggy bank and choose not to spend your precious energy on them.